Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
