ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
