there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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