i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
