My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
