Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
