you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
