So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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