Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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