every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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