there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
