I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
