I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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