You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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