i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
farters have to be the big spoon...
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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