Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
