Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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