Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
