There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
