So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
