How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
