Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
