My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Sorry about my life...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
