GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
