So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
