what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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