I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
