i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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