Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
