Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
