You made me cry and you don't even care
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
