Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
