when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
