She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
