I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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