i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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