I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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