I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just blew my weed a kiss
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
