I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
