so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
