After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
