id be glad to
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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