you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
