We need to start having sex underwater more often.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
