Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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