Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He did a backflip because drugs
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
