can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
