he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
