Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
