You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
